Looking for My Match!

Return of the Soldier Boy

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 21:03:46 -0400

“I think it’s really uptight of you to just blow me off because of a joke. You need to chill out. I’m a good guy and now you’ll never know it.”

-MssPeach

Find me and MssApple on The Matchical Month. This online dating...

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 15:38:56 -0400

Find me and MssApple on The Matchical Month.

This online dating thing is just too hilarious to not be extensively blogged about.

"I’m a recent grad from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill who will be launching a..."

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 20:01:26 -0400

“I’m a recent grad from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill who will be launching a dog clothing company in Connecticut this spring.”

- Well that’s, uh, interesting…? I guess someone has to do it…

First Phone Call with Mr. Romance

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 19:26:33 -0400

I had my first phone call with Mr. Romance, aka Mr. …….. And it really was …… I think he may be the equivalent to MssApple’s carnation. A totally nice guy, but really awkward and unsure of himself. He takes long pauses even in conversation and says “I don’t know” a lot. I think the best part was that his friends were visiting his apartment when he called me. As MssApple asked - does he constantly need a chaperone?

We made plans to go out to dinner on Wednesday. He’s a nice enough guy and I swore that I would give this a real shot, so once again, who knows? Maybe Mr. Romance will become Mr. Right.

All I know is that after that ten minute phone call, I need to

-MssPeach

The Matchical Month: Multiple Messages

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 18:47:22 -0400

The Matchical Month: Multiple Messages:

thematchicalmonth:

You know that message you get from a guy, the message that’s either really boring or really stupid or really disgusting? The message ThaT’s SPeLLeD LiKe ThiS or professes love to you? First reaction (it’s almost instinct): press delete. Usually, it ends there and scary-message-sender moves along…

The Matchical Month: Getting to Know The Bro

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 18:09:46 -0400

The Matchical Month: Getting to Know The Bro:

thematchicalmonth:

I’ve been getting to know The Bro quite a bit these past couple of days. We’ve been texting and have talked on the phone for a bit. Here are some things I’ve learned:

He is an amateur golfer looking to go pro

He works in a winery

He has a parrot

He loves cheese (as do I)

He likes to cook

…

"I’m very Down to Earth,I’m Looking for a Girl who likes to Laugh and just Talk about anything,I Love..."

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 18:09:35 -0400

“I’m very Down to Earth,I’m Looking for a Girl who likes to Laugh and just Talk about anything,I Love a Good Conversation,if I could get a Smile or a Laugh out of a Girl my Day will be Perfect,I’m just a Guy Looking for Love and Someone I could spend the Rest of my Life with.I have Tattoos,and a Great Sense of Humor,I enjoy my Family,I love Quoting Movies,”

- I can’t even imagine the effort it took to capitalize all those words. (via thematchicalmonth)

"You sure you don't want to go out again?" -Beefcake

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 17:42:59 -0400

thematchicalmonth:

First:

.

..

… And then:

thematchicalmonth: A few more fun facts

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 17:21:03 -0400

thematchicalmonth:

A few more fun facts

Photo

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 16:02:55 -0400

The Best Part

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 13:24:14 -0400

thematchicalmonth:

The “best” part of my date with Beefcake (can’t believe I forgot to mention it!):

Beefcake: Check this out!

(he flexes his pec muscles back and forth)

Me: Wow.

Beefcake: Did that make you orgasm??

Me:

-MssPeach

Did That Really Happen?

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 12:08:57 -0400

I need to start this point by summarizing its contents: date with Beefcake was a DISASTER. Literally the worst date I’ve ever been on in my entire life (and I once had a blind date with PeeWee Herman’s twin). I’m still amazed that I survived the night. But let’s start at the beginning…

The beginning of the evening was actually really nice. We met at a T.G.I. Fridays and each had a beer while we talked and got to know each other some more. I learned about his family, he learned about mine, we both learned about each other’s jobs, etc etc. He was charming and intelligent and covered the bill, which is always a plus. We decided to head out to a pub owned by his friend, and shared a kiss outside the restaurant (not too shabby).

Then things got weird.

Standing by our cars, getting ready to head to the pub. Beefcake decided that he was feeling quite tired and asked if it would be okay if we dropped his car by his apartment and I drove us. It seemed like a strange request, but I’m pretty easy going so I agreed. After dropping off his car, we arrived at the pub (me as chauffeur).

Let me take a moment to note that throughout the rest of our date, Beefcake had at least 5 more beers. It hit me that I was being used as a designated driver, but I tried not to let that bother me too much. I had other things to worry about, anyway.

Once at the pub, Beefcake invited his friend over to our table to join us. He spent the majority of the night talking to his friend, finding ways to brag about himself through their conversation. So unattractive. What was even better was when it was finally just us - Beefcake started getting sloppy and became completely disgusting.

First he started talking about the “fat girls” at the other table. Then he went on a rant about how racism doesn’t actually exist and n****** should just get over it (yes, he REALLY said that). Then he said that his father was the perfect Aryan, and that he felt a strong sexual connection between us. I wanted to vomit.

THEN, if you can believe it, things got EVEN WEIRDER.

Beefcake turned the conversation to politics, where he went on a rampage against Obama and welfare and unemployment (clearly anyone on unemployment is a loser, according to him). He asked if I knew who it was that really supported Obama. I said I didn’t know, and why didn’t he tell me. Well, Beefcake apparently didn’t like that answer and decided I was being “coy.” So he stared at me in silence for the next few minutes.

By then it was nearing midnight so I asked if he was ready to go (after all, I was the driver so it was up to me to get him home). He got up and went to the bar to pay our tab, then came back and told me I could go if I wanted. He said he talked to his friend and could get a ride home with him later. I was completely taken aback by this - was he just going to send me home alone and seriously catch a ride with his friend? Apparently, yes.

So, I left the bar alone and went home. After commiserating with MssApple via the phone, I realized that I was kind of thankful that it ended so horribly. At least I know Beefcake won’t try to get in contact, so I won’t have to worry about figuring out how explain that I’m no longer interested. My mind is still reeling and I’m still in disbelief…

Did that really happen??

-MssPeach

"I’m a great guy looking for a great gal. You’re the perfect combination of sexy and cute..."

Sat, 14 Jul 2012 15:57:19 -0400

“I’m a great guy looking for a great gal. You’re the perfect combination of sexy and cute and for that I say thank you for making me smile.”

- You had me at the proper use of “you’re.”

How you know it’s getting serious

Sat, 14 Jul 2012 10:28:38 -0400

How you know it’s getting serious

Matchelor #5: Soldier Boy

Sat, 14 Jul 2012 09:52:15 -0400

Looks like I’ve got a new matchelor to add to the mix! We’ll call this lucky man Soldier Boy, because he just got out of the army and looks great in his fatigues.

Soldier Boy graduated to the phone pretty quickly. His big smile won me over and we’ve been texting for a few days now. He loves to cook and swears he makes the best margarita. Done and done.

We’re meeting up next weekend for a walk on the beach (adorable, right?). When he first mentioned the beach, I have to admit I was a little taken aback. I told him straight out that he wasn’t getting me in a bikini on the first date, haha. He was immediately horrified and said that he meant a nice walk, and that he was a gentleman and hope he hadn’t made me uncomfortable. Too cute.

Wish me luck, and I’ll keep you all updated!

-MssPeach

OMG THE BEST PART

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 21:37:40 -0400

Matchelor #2: By any chance do you have any friends on this site?
Me: Um no I don't think so, why?
Matchelor #2: Well you know how your name is MssApple? Well there's another girl whose name is MssPeach...
Me: Oh my gosh, really?? That's so weird...

“Are you anybody else’s missing piece?”“Not that I know...

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 20:51:23 -0400

“Are you anybody else’s missing piece?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Well, maybe you want to be your own piece?”
“I can be someone’s and still my own.”

— Shel Silverstein, The Missing Piece

Photo

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 22:49:05 -0400

The Matchical Month: If it's too strange to be true, he's probably genuine.

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 22:44:07 -0400

The Matchical Month: If it's too strange to be true, he's probably genuine.:

thematchicalmonth:

In response to MssApple’s humorous yet very realistic musings on the wit of online suitors, I’d like to follow up with an observation of my own: If it seems too strange to be true, he’s probably genuine. Here are a few gems (all from the same guy):

I am convinced that the Dos Equis guy from…

The Matchical Month: My Own Matchelors

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 22:42:49 -0400

The Matchical Month: My Own Matchelors:

thematchicalmonth:

Well, time to list the few lucky fellows (Haha. Lucky. Oh man I’m funny) who caught my eye and have entertained me long enough to be considered possible matches. A la MssApple’s terms, here they are in black and white, in no particular order:

Matchelor 1: Beefcake

I’ve never dated a really…